Ohio State – Michigan preview

We got this.

Go Bucks!

And now we join the season, already in progress…

[First, a quick administrative note. Yes, it's been too long since I've posted anything (Vujacic? Really?). To the two one of you who actually attempted to read this on a semi-regular basis, I'm sorry. But it's football season now, so let's get on with it.]

• The season begins NOW in Buckeyeland. Yes, there have been two games already, but everybody knows the ’08 season begins and ends with the USC game. Any real concern about the result is misplaced anxiety- nobody’s really freaked out because it was OU, they’re freaked out because SC is next. I’m here to assuage all fears (wait, a 10.5-pt dog you say? Largest ever in the Tressel era? Oh God.) with the two-pronged theory of the Master Plan:
  1. The last two years featured great amounts of regular season domination, but things didn’t work out too well in the end. So this year, they’re reintroducing some drama into the season. It might give fans a few scares (each and every damn week), but by the end of the season, the team will be ready for anything (see 2002).
  2. How do you demonstrate Beanie’s worth? By running a little classroom demonstration. Ok class, if Buckeyes without Beanie = Terrifyingly Bad, and Buckeyes with Beanie = Good (enough to beat USC), then what is the value of Beanie? That’s right, Heisman! QED, bitches.

  

• Adding to the hype: Ray Small. You, my friend, make up for your lack of quoterific timing with brass. And perhaps more conveniently, a great defense mechanism. We may lose by 40 on Saturday, but we’ll have the better men. Left out of the quote: “You’ll all work for us someday.”
• The LA Times says there’s nothing to worry about, either. Too bad I could hear the snickering through my monitor. Ass.
• In Bevo country, however, things are smooth sailing after the 42-13 win in El Paso this weekend. Late last week the following email was sent to the student body at UT:
  

  For those of you travelling to El Paso this weekend, we hope you have a great time watching the Longhorns take on the Miners of UTEP and enjoy your visit to the “Sun City Capital of Texas.”

  The State Department has recently urged American citizens to be especially alert to safety and security concerns when visiting the border region. There have been a few incidents in years past when fans attending athletic events in El Paso have crossed the border into Mexico and experienced unsafe situations. If you are planning to visit Mexico please remember to exercise common sense precautions. Please remember that you are no longer under the same laws, customs and protections that you are accustomed to in the United States.

  We want you to have the very best experience as you travel as a representative of your school, community, and country.

  Enjoy the wide-open vistas in the Sun City and have a great time at the game!

  It’s certainly nice to get the warning, but I thought it was a little lazy that they used the exact same email they sent for the OSU game in C-bus.

• This is why college football is so great. You can wash down a super serious mid-day mid-western ulcer inducer with a good ol’ late night dick joke party.